Notes on Surrender

to play to win is to lose, to play to lose gracefully is to win. must one seek first place it ought to be with conscious acceptance of probable sabotage. otherwise seek the least of the bad outcomes, for it sustains true predictability in marginal benefit. to be Mr. Right is to choose mutual sacrifice and subversion, however Mr. Right Now lives on in memories fond until the end without substantial liability. but the power of detachment is fleeting. vulnerability is real, attachment is real, emotion is real, yet unsustainable without the institution of loyal devotion. chosen mutual submission is the holiest quota, but sincerity is out of style. hence a reasonable alternative is proposed. something in my soul tells me that it's demonic, the intelligence of outcomes, manipulation of circumstances, and choice of disposition remain heretical without divine stewardship. there is something to faithful surrender that is crucial to walking a path of righteousness, yet conflicts with any and all somatic logic. I happen to believe contradictions are not exclusive, however. one must jump into the cold pool despite being aware the heater is broken. the knowledge can subdue our reaction, but ought not to prevent our compulsion.