V · 52 entries
Marginalia
Essays, observations, fragments, poems. Thinking in the open.
- Notes on ModernityHell is a perpetual stew, prepared with those of common decency and good ideas. our globe is macerated beneath the feet of those with the density to consume…
- Notes on accompanimentthe circumstance of death is undeniably beautiful in its own regard. surrender to the elements, companionate, purposeful. but it ought not be rushed. the lives…
- Notes on Gracei think it's truly a sign of grace when you can get exactly what you want out of life without exerting a heavy hand. you don't need to hold the sword to force…
- Notes on Powerarrogance without leverage is fiction, stimulation without retreat is chaos, community without self is carnage, credential without investment is performance,…
- Loveintimacy is routinely evasive. domesticity invites a regressive juvenescence complacent in codependent resentment. agency inflates an illusory optionality…
- Notes on Surrenderto play to win is to lose, to play to lose gracefully is to win. must one seek first place it ought to be with conscious acceptance of probable sabotage.…
- The Highland Thronewatch the crest of tomorrow drench the sun with shade without the most of us soon shall be sewn in sodden thread pursue the grand for today endured in motion…
- Radiofor all the rotations life makes in an arduous circle, for all the moments of poignant self assurance and authored purpose, we act with ourselves in mind,…
- Notes on Goodbyesif you poured an irish for all my goodbyes i'd have the bar ran dry. I guess it all comes from shame. hello's a hopeful gamble on odds from hell, done the…
- Notes on Depthendless stimulation, savvy analysis, detached indifference, good distractions all fail to seal wounds from my past. I desire depth, full stop. complete somatic…
- Notes on Peaceis there time without form? is there form without love? is there state without motion? is there self without loss? apathy bears its teeth in senseless…
- Notes on Lightmost people die making do and fuck it all when something good arrives. cleopatra - "i was late for the love of my life, but when I die i'll be on time." it's a…
- Notes on Rootsi get romantic about attachment and finding roots but the only thing attainable is becoming resourceful and peaceful. joy comes with the wind, and people that…
- Notes on Enduranceall packed up. on to the next. forgetting my way through life, unintentionally. endurance is a vague dementia. with every act of chosen diplomacy my affective…
- Notes on Resolvehair longer spine stronger. no rush no frenzy. just moves that make sense. slow methodical narrowing of my gaze. i'll fight for the prize, but only when it's…
- Contractual Derangementlove is signing a contract of reciprocation. you respect my boundaries I respect your boundaries. emotional bonding follows a well negotiated contract. people…
- Notes on the Empty Roomthere's an empty room I revisit throughout my life. it's where I was born and it's where I will die. the walls a familiar stasis, a welcome sight. my face…
- Notes on Enoughtime well spent in a place half decent smokes life long loss in a space well kept. life makes time for those who dare to try. if you never get it right just…
- Notes on the Spectator's ExportWhat is the spectator's export? An indifferent altruism, perhaps divine reflection? It is independently sufficient to be; good and bad are decorative…
- Cruelest Heartfeelings fit in funny places, where our words share the greatest weight. worlds collide, sorrow subsides, and memory fades to black. permanence, a gift of…
- Solitudethriving is a vague solitude shared with fallen leaves and winter winds the unconscionable speaks a somatic tongue cherished at expense of the needless fumes…
- Notes on DisarrayI have not the slightest clue what i'm doing. life presents these moments of sheer disarray, where everything you once loved feels of nothing at all. no reason…
- Notes on Gripthe delicate dance between surrender and control. it's a feat to say the least. people, spaces, jobs, conditions, timelines all churn with meditated disdain…
- Notes on Restlessnessdeath and rebirth are inevitable themes in my life. health problems symbolize the transformation of self, disinterest does with relationships, and abrasiveness…
- Notes on Lossif life's not all loss, i'd have something left to lose. it's funny how the rug never seems to stay in place. no amount of tenure or wisdom seems to change…
- Parchments of Fleshi've been a dead man slouched upon a throne ain't a right hand left and my left ain't alright. beat into my skull a mark of the unknown parchments of flesh…
- Notes on Momentumit's time to trade visibility and aesthetics for intimacy and rigor there's a useful way to frame this in terms of kinetic and potential energy. our world is…
- The Gameplay the game of guilt and shame. debuffed at spawn as dishonorable or dysfunctional, we proceed in pursuit of experience or contribution. motivated to…
- Notes on Memoryi think with our digital memories it's harder than ever to recognize our own age. we revisit and reincorporate our pasts into ourselves over and over again…
- Perpetual Driftcan we overcome our pasts and write stories untold, see the world in its vastness and diversity, break the chains for better or worse, unburdened by fear in…
- The Cartographer's Costthe cartographer's cost cannot be codified paid in silence without an itemized receipt the most noble of human pursuits to see the world for what it really is…
- Parental Transferencegrow beyond transference cease to perpetuate panic proximity a tender arbitrage refusal to cowardly solitude deflect by sturdy reversal and respond with care…
- Wardrobessavior the hero: fights on others' behalf the consultant: tells others how to fight the martyr: shows others how to fight the mother: encourages you to fight…
- Shot In the Darkin the black of tomorrow there's a shot in the dark a potent little spark primed to set you ablaze. so take aim and pull for the memories to follow even if you…
- Momentaryno days off cause i'm sick in the head paving legacies brief but undeniable diversified enough to be dangerous with blades reserved in confidential bloodshed…
- Concessionson a quest to grow we can let ourselves go. hands dealt in less than ideals our tenure as collected dust liable for the bad tattoos and wounds we regret to…
- Hilbert Spaceobfuscate threads erased i occupy my Hilbert space pressured by the pain i face i bet my life, the best awaits
- Busif it's really about the stories why do we postpone ourselves? we're all just curious george waiting for the magic school bus. follow passion to purgatory on…
- Manhattanmanhattan was built for the game competitive stamp collectors making concessions to belong an endless social contract of obligation and good distractions all…
- Dispositionsbe active and dormant excited yet indifferent expended and reserved have nothing to say and fill the room with words give the world your all and nothing at all…
- Humanity and Intellectualism"an impossible search for home requires a blueprint to build your own" "where do humanity and intellectualism exist in the same room?" unintelligent and…
- Notes on the Down-Goermy work was my escape in 2023. I ran as fast as I could from feeling inadequate, feeling crippled, feeling weak. i rebuilt an empire, with every minute of…
- Notes on Manhoodthe challenge is, and has always been, embracing the journey when it puts you in cuffs and throws you in the back of a van. what it means to be a man and what…
- Notes on Gratitudeso grateful to be alive and able that I am missing what's in plain sight. not sure if it's pessimism I lack or time to process it all. keep housekeeping until…
- Malwaremay malware mire motivation might madness mystify mission, make moments mediocre maximize memories moreover.
- Notes on Homei guess i see myself chasing waste. time and time again failing to deliver on vital objectives. 6 weeks is about my capacity. that which is central,…
- Temperancelet time be retreat model intention expend effort battle obsession feasibly flexible exercised wisely
- Hersorry we didn't find solid ground wish she could see the ship I built anyways hammer and nail, with various fixtures steadfast through storm and slog just…
- Notes on Expectationin a very zizekian way, the transactional benefits of sustaining relationships are only realized if both parties operate under the pretense that such…
- Tenseseverything was right but the time lost in translation of self and direction the rope watches you fall convicted, the summit was fruitless but the bog knows all…
- The Machine Regimeshe, emerald green, carries her parents' dreams, themes deemed never meant to be. her self-esteem bleeds, broken seams so it seems, no scheme could intervene.…
- Dopamine Dietsocial creatures fill up the bleachers each of them eager for a numbing procedure to cope with the quiet or hold back the riot unsealed in private like smoke…