Notes on Grace

i think it's truly a sign of grace when you can get exactly what you want out of life without exerting a heavy hand. you don't need to hold the sword to force positive change. sometimes the shield holds infinitely more leverage. i think that's the trick up my sleeve. sincerity is out of style but it damn for sure keeps people alive. i guess it's hard to signal devotion and simultaneously indulge in the game of it all. i push myself to get it right all the time but honestly it's unrealistic. honesty in taking care is all I can rely on, and i'll give myself the benefit of the doubt in that I am what I am, and with fatigue that can be square. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care to meet others where they're at, and it bothers me so much when my capacity to do that runs thin. I keep improving though, and the next step is back to an old arrangement. this time i've got skills to own it wholeheartedly, and that's what i plan to do unapologetically. monsters under the bed are real, but so is fear of the dark itself.